To speak about another person’s life is always an incredible responsibility because you are always confronted in a certain sense by mystery. The life of Brian Smith is no exception to that rule. Brian was one of those people whom you could meet at a conference and think you’d known him for years. He was always open in his sharing about what was happening at any given time. But Brian could never be summed up by the conference experiences alone. There was a lot more to the man that could only be discovered over the course of many years. It’s some of those insights that I would like to share with you tonight as we honour the memory of Brian Smith whom Adrian Commadeur (Co-Author of Streams of Living Water, the autobiography of Brian Smith) described as the ‘apostle of the Holy Spirit’.

My journey with Brian began in 1971. I had just experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit and he came to our school prayer meeting. Brian was the sort of person who captured your attention right from the start. He was charismatic in the broadest sense of the word and it seemed natural to want to spend time with him, to learn from him. I spent the next 30 years of my life learning from him in a variety of different contexts – initially as part of the Bardon Prayer Meeting. Brian always had a vision for young people and for discipleship. He consistently promoted young people throughout his whole ministry and I was one who was a recipient of his encouragement beginning with the Bardon leadership team, the first national leaders’ conference in 1973 and so on. I began working full time with Brian in 1974 in the national office for Catholic Charismatic Renewal and subsequently for the Emmanuel Covenant Community from 1978 onwards. I served with Brian as a leader of the Emmanuel Covenant Community from 1980 until his death in 2003. From 1990 until 2003, we worked closely together in the service of the Catholic Fraternity of which he was President. In short, Brian was for me a spiritual father but not the sort of spiritual father who might always be telling you what to do. Brian would always encourage me to be honest with him, even when I disagreed with him – especially when I disagreed with him. Sometimes he would enjoy such honesty, other times he wouldn’t, but he still encouraged it.

Where to Begin?

I guess one of the places that I want to begin is 1972 because in 1972 Brian returned from his first visit to the United States. He went to the International Conference of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal or what had begun to develop as an International Conference, in Notre Dame University, Indiana. On his return to the Bardon Prayer Meeting, he shared from Revelations 21:1-4 "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away and the sea was no more. And I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband, and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

‘See the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God. They will be His people and God Himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more. Mourning and death and pain will be no more for the first things have passed away.’ And the One seated on the throne said ‘See I am making all things new.’ He said ‘Write this for these words are trustworthy and true.’"

Truly Brian had caught a vision, a vision that would continue to impact on him and shape the rest of his life. That vision was of a Church renewed. The Holy Spirit was being poured out on all those that thirsted for something more. Brian had already experienced that reality one Saturday afternoon in September 1970 when he experienced the baptism in the Holy Spirit. Prior to this time he would say that he felt like he had experienced a drying up of his spirit. After the baptism in the Spirit, he experienced a renewed presence of Jesus … a new empowerment and a strong desire to witness to others about the person and presence of Jesus.

Back in those days this was something unbelievable. It was one thing to be part of the Bardon Prayer Meeting which was flourishing at that point in time, continuing to grow week after week, and to see what God was doing here. But it was another thing to see God at work throughout the nations. God was at work pouring out His Spirit on people in ways that we hadn’t dreamed possible. Brian knew what had happened for him, but in the United States he experienced a vision on a grand scale. Young and old were being transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit – laity, priests, religious, bishops – all were sharing this revolutionary experience of the baptism of the Holy Spirit and it was impacting on the whole world. The world would be changed forever, and so would Brian Smith as a result of that experience. From this time forward, his vision always contained an international, universal dimension whether he was giving a talk in a local parish or travelling by canoe to remote villages in Papua New Guinea.

This ongoing experience of God, both in his own life and in the lives of others, would continue to energize Brian for a lifetime. The vision of a renewed Church would become his life’s work. As Terry Finn (long time friend and confidante) pointed out in his eulogy, Brian already had a great love for the Church and a conviction that he was called to do great things for God. It seemed like God was preparing the field of where, in fact, he would do those great things. Brian’s home may very well have been in Geebung, but his mission field was the world. In the history of the Emmanuel Covenant Community, Brian worked hard to convince the community that our mission field was not just Brisbane but the whole world. This vision continues well after his death.

The Spiritual Foundation

While the Catholic Charismatic Renewal occupied such a significant space in his life, he was the first to acknowledge that his spiritual foundation came prior to the Renewal. I can’t remember how many times I was with Brian in so many different contexts when he said that the Renewal is not enough in itself. It is to be built on and integrated with the great spiritual traditions of the Church. This was Brian’s personal experience after a number of years of formation in Carmelite spirituality. The writings of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross were always close to Brian. In times of difficulty, in particular, he would draw on the experience of Teresa and apply her wisdom to a given situation. This was especially true in the establishment of the Emmanuel Community. Brian always insisted that a covenant community must always be enlivened by the charisms and have deep roots in the spiritual traditions.

Not everyone appreciated Brian’s embrace of Carmelite spirituality. On numerous occasions, Brian was reminded that we were lay people and not monastics but that didn’t dampen his commitment. Brian was convinced that he was right. If Emmanuel was to survive the many struggles and challenges that are inherent in community life it must tap into the spiritual traditions that had nourished the community life of men and women throughout the centuries. This sort of single mindedness was an aspect of Brian’s character that some have never seen but let me assure you it was part and parcel of the man who felt a great responsibility before God for what he had been asked to do. At the same time, I’d have to say he was right about tapping into the spiritual traditions of the Church. Sometimes charismatic spirituality can be superficial and easily influenced by the "success mentality" or "prosperity gospel" found in some Pentecostal or Evangelical churches. I sometimes hear in Catholic charismatic circles statements like: "Oh they’re doing well – they must be really in the Lord". They’re doing well. That gives it away that we’ve bought into a prosperity Gospel. They’re doing well. They must be following the Lord. And you wipe out centuries of spiritual wisdom. What about when you’re not doing well? What about when you’re suffering? What about when you’re dying with Christ? What about when you’re confronted by the dead body of your daughter who has been raped and murdered? What about when your son is diagnosed with cancer? What about when your group is experiencing all sorts of trials and tribulations? (These were Brian’s lived experiences.) Does that mean you’re not doing well? Brian was convinced that following Christ was not just about doing well. He knew that some of those superficial understandings are overcome by an in-depth spirituality that comes from the tradition of the Church. The spiritual tradition reminds us, "We are immersed in Christ, in his death and his resurrection. As a people, we live that cycle of dying and rising; that we can be doing very well and be exactly in the heart of God when we are suffering with Christ; that we can be being purified; that we can be being nurtured in faith." The biblical wisdom found in the Book of Job reminds us that reality is not always what it appears to be; that the advisers of Job had a very superficial understanding of what was happening to him. Because things were not going so well they came to the conclusion that Job must be cursed by God. They were convinced he must have some hidden sin. In fact, the story of Job reveals a man that was constant and steadfast in the face of trial and gives us a new insight into human suffering and what God allows in order to draw us to His will and to test our fidelity to Him. The tradition of the Church took into account the variety of forms of prayer, the importance of contemplation, the understanding of trial and testing in the spiritual life, a deep connection and love for the Church, the wisdom of Saints for whom the charismatic dimension of life was normative. Brian was eager that these realities form a strong foundation in our community life because these are realities that give strength, that give insight, that build character.

The other significant influence on Brian’s life which is important to mention is the Legion of Mary. He was always proud of his connection with the Legion and the practical formation that it offered through prayer and apostolic action. One of the highlights for Brian occurred when we were in Ireland for the International Catholic Charismatic Renewal Conference in 1978. Brian was invited to a private mass to be celebrated by Cardinal Suenens with Frank Duff, founder of the Legion of Mary. There were only a few other people there including Veronica O’Brien, Cardinal Suenens’ long time collaborator and tireless worker for the Legion and for the Charismatic Renewal. Apart from meeting Frank Duff, who has now been nominated for canonisation, Brian delighted in telling the story of the conclusion of the Mass. Cardinal Suenens said the closing prayer and promptly added, we will now sing "Go now, you are sent forth." Veronica, a staunch legionary, was horrified at such a poor choice of hymn and immediately chimed in saying, "no we won’t, we’ll sing the Salve Regina" and promptly started singing. Who said the laity had no influence? (Cardinal Suenens went on to write an amazing book on the life of Veronica O’Brien which is aptly named "The Hidden Hand of God".)

"The greatest privilege in life is to proclaim the Gospel"

I spent many years with Brian going to conferences, giving talks, doing missions, visiting communities in places both near and far. At different times, there was almost a sense of awe and wonder came over him as he would step outside of himself for a moment and realise what was going on. It was at those moments that he would say, "You know, the greatest privilege in life is to proclaim the Gospel". Towards the latter part of Brian’s life, it seemed to me anyway, that he grew in a profound understanding of the dignity of his own Baptism and of the call that was on him as a lay person. Brian knew that he was somehow called by God from a young age, and that God was not put off by Brian’s inadequacies. It was God’s intention to use Brian and what Brian did was exactly the same as Mary did. She said yes, and he said yes. The numbers didn’t matter; it didn’t matter whether there were 2 people or 2000 or 20,000. That was irrelevant. What was relevant was the opportunity to announce the Good News. The privilege of telling the Good News about Jesus was received as God’s gift to Brian and he just did it whenever he had an opportunity and he had many. I don’t think I have ever seen Brian quite as happy as when he was in front of a group of people and telling them about Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.

In spite of the many great opportunities Brian had to speak in different places and to many people, I will always remember one occasion when he desperately wanted to proclaim Jesus and he thought he wasn’t going to be able to do it. When Brian received the news that his son Dominic had cancer, Dominic was four and a half years old. I remember we were about to have a meeting about something or other and instead we just talked about Dominic and about what was happening. "If only I had more time to tell him about the Lord" was Brian’s lament. At that point in time, when Brian and Lorraine didn’t know whether Dom would live or die, Brian’s deepest desire for his son was to know Jesus in a deeper way. It was a prayer that was answered. Dom is now 30 plus and Brian had many opportunities to share Jesus with Dom and probably none more profound than when he was dying.

Full Time Ministry

At Brian’s funeral Mass, Archbishop John Bathersby described Brian as a trailblazer. It seems to me that one of the areas of Brian’s life that is often taken for granted or overlooked was his willingness to embrace full time ministry. Its not so unusual now but back in the early seventies, the idea of a man with a family of six children giving up a good paying job to work full time in the Church was a little unusual not to mention insecure. Brian strongly believed in lay ministry and the evidence of this is his own willingness to walk an uncertain and unchartered path. I know that in those early years there were some times when Brian was not paid. I can remember visiting him after he was operated on for cataracts. It coincided with a drop off in income from the prayer group. However, the Lord did not abandon him or his family. One family, not knowing his situation, felt a conviction from the Lord that they should buy a full load of groceries. It was enough to get them through to the next pay-day when he was actually paid. Brian not only believed in himself, but he believed in the principle of lay people working full time in the Church. It was a principle that he continued to implement within the Emmanuel Community.

A Visionary

Among Brian’s many gifts was his ability to share the vision. His life and the life of Emmanuel Covenant Community were caught up in this wonderful outpouring of the Holy Spirit and one of the things that we could expect, and we came to expect from Brian, is that he would share in a detailed way - everything. A wife’s delight! A husband who would share everything! He would always want to share his experiences. But he shared more than that. He shared a vision and whether you were a novice on one of his overseas pilgrimages or whether he had had some new encounter with the Lord, it was certain you would hear about it. He loved to introduce others to the things he loved to do. For anyone who had the opportunity to be with Brian in Rome, or anywhere else in the world for that matter, you would always be certain that he had been there before you and he always had a whole host of stories to tell. He was like one of those Roman fountains that kept on flowing. You came to expect it and if it wasn’t there you would think something was wrong.

I can remember when Brian returned from his first audience with Pope Paul VI, meeting him at the Cathedral at lunch time after Mass. Here he was with lots of glossy pictures, as some of you would know - Brian never had small pictures, they were always big pictures. And so here he was outside St. Stephen’s Cathedral passing around the pictures, sharing the vision, opening up to those who were interested (and it didn’t matter who you were – just anybody who would stand around and listen). This was the nature of Brian and it would be played out time and again wherever he found himself in the world. It was like the poor woman at the Tomb of John XXIII whom he had firmly in his grasp telling her the story of John XXIII and his vision for the renewal of the Church. It was only some time later that he realized that she wasn’t one of the Elders.

As with most things in life, Brian’s experience of sharing vision didn’t always work out the way he hoped. But Brian was one of those people who took Paul’s words to Timothy very seriously – "in season and out of season". One of those out of season experiences happened at a Jesuit retreat centre outside of Rome. Now Brian had been to this Retreat House earlier in the year where he had a magnificent experience of God. It had a beautiful garden and it was spring when Brian was there previously. All the flowers were out and he walked in the garden and it was magnificent! And as usual, he came back and told us about the garden and his amazing experience of God. A number of us from the Community arrived at this Centre to participate in a Catholic Fraternity meeting. The group arrived tired and worn out after a long trip. We hadn’t unpacked our luggage, we hadn’t gone to our rooms, and we hadn’t set up the registration desk for the conference delegates who were soon to arrive. None of that mattered. Brian was in full flight. There was a spiritual experience waiting for us in the garden and we were going to have it, just the same way that he had it. Let me paint the picture a little. It was no longer spring. You could see the snow on the surrounding hills; it was cold and there were no flowers in the garden but the garden was still there and we were going into it. And so off we went to the garden and we walked, and the further we walked, you could see the responses, unstated of course, "I want to go to bed; I want to set up the table for the conference; I want to get out of this cold garden." But if that was not enough, it began to rain but that was no problem for Brian, he simply put up his umbrella and we stayed in the garden! And the more mindful that people were that they wanted to leave, and of course he knew it, the more intent he was that we were going to have that wonderful spiritual experience. Well, sometime later we laughed about it but it certainly wasn’t that day and he realized that perhaps not all his spiritual experiences could be repeated. But he certainly tried.

Ecumenism

At Brian’s funeral, the Archbishop also identified Brian as a trailblazer in the area of Ecumenism. Brian had a love for ecumenism which I believe grew out of his earliest experiences of the Renewal. In the very early days, Brian experienced a great relationship with Pastor Trevor Chandler and Pastor Clarke Taylor as well as many others. It was through the generosity of Trevor Chandler and Anglican friends Norman and Betty Wagstaff that Brian was assisted to travel to his first conference in Notre Dame, Indiana. Local contacts lead to national contacts in the Ecumenical field. For many years, there was a strong connection with Rev. Allan Langstaff and the Temple Trust. As time went by, Brian’s contacts continued to grow as he mixed with people like the Rev Michael Harper, David du Plessis, and Arnold Bittlinger etc. As well as these many charismatic contacts, Brian also participated in the Church’s more formal ecumenical movement. I sat with him as a member of the Archdiocesan Commission for Ecumenism for more than 10 years – a role he would return to in the last couple of years of his life to participate in a local Catholic-Pentecostal dialogue.

Ecumenism for Brian was one of those bitter-sweet commitments. There was a lot of joy in those personal relationships with Anglican, Protestant and Pentecostal leaders that were built over the years. There was at the same time a great struggle and sadness that a greater unity could not have been achieved in his lifetime. But for Brian, there was no room for cheap ecumenism – false ecumenism – an ecumenism of the lowest common denominator. In the early days of covenant communities there was more than a little influence in this direction. As an ecumenical covenant community for nearly 15 years Emmanuel (Brian in particular) worked hard to make it authentic. We met regularly with Church leaders, keeping them informed and seeking their wisdom. By the late 80’s, the Anglican auxiliary bishop no longer supported Anglicans living this form of community life. Many of the Protestants in the community were not active members of their churches but rather displaced Protestants who had a charismatic experience and were looking for a spiritual home. By 1990, Brian along with the rest of the Elders, decided to face our reality and to name ourselves as a Catholic community. Giving recognition to Emmanuel Covenant Community as a Private Association of the Faithful was one of the last acts of Archbishop Francis Rush as Archbishop of Brisbane in 1992.

The Ride of a Lifetime – Catholic Charismatic Renewal

That afternoon in the church of St. Mary Magdalene in Bardon, when Brian Smith was baptised in the Holy Spirit was the commencement of the ride of a life-time. From beginning to end, Brian never lost that sense of amazement that God would choose to use an ordinary guy from Geebung for such a work. It was probably one of the qualities that made Brian such an appealing character. I don’t believe he ever set out to achieve titles or positions. His will was set on serving God. The titles and positions just happened along the way.

There was no question that Brian’s life was full – and it was full right to the end. One of the quirky Brian charisms that does not appear in the lists of Corinthians or Ephesians has to do with not knowing limits. He didn’t know the same sort of limits that other people knew and observed. Perhaps it was the amount of time he spent in Rome where limits are defined but not observed or perhaps it’s because he just grew up in Townsville. He had a freedom that allowed him to do things and go places that for many others would be difficult. It wasn’t just something he would do himself but he would always drag others along with him. Let me give you two examples. The first time I experienced this was in 1974 at this large meeting of North American Leaders. Brian was invited. In Brian’s mind, that meant anyone who was with him was also invited – that meant a single woman and myself who were travelling with him. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there. Brian didn’t know that. And so he said, "Come on you two", and it’s like Oh my God, where are we going and what are we getting into? I don’t know how many experiences I had like that. You’d hear the words, "Come on", and it’s like … Oh, no! Doesn’t he know, doesn’t he understand the way things work. While he may have understood, he was certainly not bound by such restrictions.

He became famous some years ago in the Vatican when he was supposed to have five guests to morning Mass with the Holy Father. Five invitations arrived but Brian had a sixth person who was with him. Ray Stewart was the sixth person and he simply said "No, I won’t go. I’ve been before. Let the others go." Brian’s response was predictable, "Well, we’ll take the others, but you come too." Now Brian knows, and other people who have been there know that you don’t fight with Vatican Security. So, they get to the door and start talking to the Guard … and we have six visitors. "Five only!" says the guard. And so, at that point most people would give up. But not Brian. While Brian and the others go up the stairs of the Apostolic Palace, Brian says "Ray, you stay here". So Ray stays there and the others go up. Just before the Pope comes to say Mass, Ray appears in the Chapel. Behold there are now six! At the end of the Mass, the Pope’s Secretary is there and says to Brian "And now there are six of you! Five people and now there are six!" What also happened was that one of the Priests from the Fraternity had gone separately and he was celebrating Mass with the Holy Father that day, and that made it look like there were seven. So, later in the day when Brian called in to the Council for the Laity the Pope’s Secretary must have spoken to Bishop Rylko and Bishop Rylko greets Brian with "And I hear you were seven people at Mass with the Holy Father this morning."

There were so many of those occasions. He always took somebody with him, whether it was a meeting with Bishops or Cardinals, you could always be sure that it didn’t matter about protocol; you just went along and they had to deal with it.

A Reflection on the Journey

Brian loved the journey of life and all that it held. He loved his wife Lorraine and had the deepest respect for her. He loved his children and was proud of them even when they didn’t exactly follow what he thought they should do. He was also a proud grandfather as I’m sure many of you would have encountered when he passed his travelling family album around. Brian liked the good things in life; he enjoyed good food and wine (particularly Italian), he had a great sense of humour; he loved the beach and the mountains. In those earlier days the summers would usually see him with a dark tan from having spent so much time in the sun. He was perfectly at ease with anybody he met. He was convinced that when Jesus Christ became a man, that it gave a dignity to our humanity – to our being men and women. Brian struggled with people who were overly pious. He had a certain irreverence which insisted that our humanity was God’s gift and we should not despise it. Its o.k. not to look holy all the time. Its o.k. to enjoy life. Its o.k. not to take yourself so seriously.

Brian didn’t want to be some plaster saint on someone’s mantelpiece. He was clearly not a little plaster saint. He didn’t pretend to be a spiritual giant. After all, he only came from Geebung. He did, however, want to be a saint. As we recall the great things about Brian’s life, he would insist that we also recall that he failed many times. He struggled with his own limitations, his inabilities to be and to do all that he believed the Lord asked of him. Brian was a man who knew what it was to call on Jesus to save him and he didn’t stop doing that until his last breath. Brian was open about his own weaknesses and struggles. The last months of his life were an incredible outpouring of grace. Without doubt, hundreds of people passed through his home and it was a time of reconciliation for many. When I would go and visit him, he would tell me who he had seen that week and about the reconciliation that took place. He also told me how when each new person walked in the door, he could clearly see Christ within them. "How I wish I could have seen that all the time" was his lament.

I think the incredible thing about God is that there is nothing that is lost in God. This understanding is very important for our life as a community – nothing is lost. Redemption in Christ is about the whole person. It’s not just our achievements that God receives and finds acceptable, but God gathers up everything - both what we see as our glory moments, as well as our suffering, our failure, our inability to respond and He uses it all for His glory.

Brian lived the mystery of life with all its joy, pain, challenge, suffering, excitement, and weakness knowing that One had gone before him in whom he could trust. In the end, it was only his relationship with Jesus Christ and following Jesus Christ, who died and rose from the dead, that would make sense of his life and he was happy about that.

Brian’s life continues to speak to us and challenges us to: